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Mrs. Calypso - Natural Charm, Natural Beauty

A hashtag I always use is #youdoyou. That’s what’s most important to me. There will always be haters, always be people that think their opinion is the only one that counts, but at the end of the day, if you are happy with who you are, what you do, your look, the way you feel, your health, those are the only things that are important. Because you have to be able to go through the day, fight your fights, deal with your struggles, nobody else can do that for you. So you have to know what helps you get up in the morning, what motivates you, what gives you confidence. Don’t let that be determined by other people.

Can you tell us about your roots, about growing up?

 I grew up in a very conservative environment, with 2 older sisters and a younger brother. Us siblings were very close, we shared everything with each other. Things like clothes, books, school supplies, but we also told each other about first kisses, first ‘times’, our crushes, helped each other out with styling advice, shared our dreams and disappointments, etc.  Of course, it wasn’t always easy, because growing up we became very different characters, all of us going in a different direction. My parents are Christians, so we always went to church, faith was a very big and important part of my childhood and still is now. I’ll get back to that a bit later on.

 

I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 19, in Spring 2012. I started on meds and with treatment right away, but it didn’t really work well, I would still have seizures, some really strong, some not 'too bad'. In Summer 2014 the seizures got even worse, I started new treatment, new meds, which made the side effects worse and I got diagnosed with depression as well.

The depression was harder to combat than the seizures… I had to leave my parents, move out, because they didn’t understand what was happening with me, why I was ‘being weird’ and complicated. With them being conservative Christians they believed that it was partly because my faith just wasn’t strong enough, but going to church more, all that stuff would make me feel better, I wasn’t really mentally sick in general. My then boyfriend did his best to stick around, but it was really hard for him as well and there were times where I didn’t know if I would see him again or if he had left for good.

 But starting modelling really helped me. It was an escape out of the grey reality I was living in, the fight against self harm, suicidal thoughts, the feeling of being alone with my struggles and the fear of another seizure that would leave me helpless to my body. And the people I worked with, some being people that just wanted to see a nice naked body in front of them, others that were actually interested in me as a person, my story, helped me see that there was beauty in what I was going through. Of course not all shoots were good and easy, I met people that I don’t ever want to see again, but I learned a lot from those experiences. And most importantly, photographers that were interested in my story helped me learn that I was strong enough to go on, to keep fighting, that I wasn’t alone in my struggles and that all the things that were happening shaped me in an amazing way.

 So I kept going, got back up after every fall and got stronger than I had ever been before, combated depression successfully, found the right meds and treatment and I’ve been seizure free for almost two years. I was able to finish my studies and get into the field of music management. It also made me more confident in myself and let me feel experiences more intense, because I actually went through not feeling anything at all.

Being secure and enjoying shoots so much made the shoots, the pics better and I got to know more amazing photographers.

 

But being so open concerning nudity, sex and being a very confident woman wasn’t easy for me or the people (not counting in a few very good, also open friends) around me. My then boyfriend (still the same as in 2014) now struggled with anxiety, OCD and paranoia, didn’t like being the ‘weak’ one and didn’t want me to do any more shoots. Both of us also struggled financially, which made the whole thing even harder.

I stopped shooting for a few months, it seemed like we could pull back together, he finally started getting treatment, we actually got married, but it didn’t work. I was too open, wanted more out of life than being ‘just’ his wife, wanted to get back to shooting, he had stopped his treatment as well and living with him, a life ruled by his OCD and anxiety was so hard, it broke us apart, our marriage was annulled.

 My parents and two of three siblings were going to something like a brethren church (the one I was growing up in) and especially my parents didn’t really like the new, very confident me, the one that asked a lot of questions about beliefs, the church and that got tattooed and pierced. Of course, they still loved me and they realized that it wasn’t their place to try and change me, but it was hard and a long process. They also noticed that my relationship/ marriage was making me slowly fall back into depression, which, understandably made them not like my ex.

So ending the marriage in the beginning of 2017 was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. My life got a whole lot easier, my family noticed how much better I was doing, which made them more relaxed, I got back to shooting and was able to really be me, which also meant trying the concept of an open relationship and taking a small step towards the porn business/ erotica. 

Of course I still struggle at times, I still wonder about church and religion and how I fit into the ‘traditional’ picture of a Christian woman, liking what I like, being so open, I still can’t be completely open about what I do in front of my family (mostly because it would make them incredibly sad and I don’t want that), but being able to do what I love and earn a bit of money with it is amazing and I’m really thankful for that.

 

What was your childhood / teenage dream? What did you want to become?

 I was a dreamer with many hobbies and things that excited me. From Zoo Owner to Stylist to Solo Cellist to CEO of my own event management company to App Developer to Owner of a bakery/ café - in my eyes there were (and still are) so many possibilities. But what was always important to me - I’m a very creative type, I wanted the freedom and possibility to create something. Being it in music, cooking, baking, designing a website, modelling, photography, styling, drawing, … doesn’t matter.

 Any idols during the teenage period?

 Good question. I really can’t remember…

 

 

When did you start with modeling? Can you recall your first photo session?

Nude photos - when have you done your first nude photo session?

How was the feeling?

Reactions from people close to you?

I  did my first ‘shoot' with my sister (she’s two years older) in Fall 2014 as a gift for my then boyfriend. I was 22 and studying Music/ Cello at that time. The pics were boudoir style and I had so much fun, I wanted to do more. So I built a profile on different model portals and started out mostly with unpaid shoots, just to try what I liked. My boyfriend didn’t mind, but I couldn’t really tell my family about it, with growing up in a very conservative environment. I met a professional photographer in the city I was living in at that point and he helped me try different styles, different genres, what I was comfortable with and what not. We’re stillI doing collaborations, he’s like an Uncle or big brother to me. I noticed that I didn’t mind being naked in front of the camera, that I was very open and actually had the most fun if I could work with my whole body, being in the center, not being an accessoire to something else, it being fashion or product advertisement. So I did more shoots in the nude art section, tried pornart as well and loved it.

Most people that know me for a while and I tell about my modeling are in awe or wouldn’t picture me as a person that would work in that genre.

My friends support me and are happy to hear about projects/ see the pics that I do.

I got a lot more confident in what I do/ who I am and don’t mind being honest about it, with the exception of my parents and their friends.

A lot of people are very open and ask questions about it, some worry about the risks and others are just interested in what the pay is like or if I get to travel a lot.

 Do you prefer to do nude photos with some lingerie on or not? If yes, what is your favorite lingerie for photo sessions?

I prefer shooting completely nude, but if I do wear lingerie I want it to accentuate my body or ‘tell a story’. I’m all for velvet, lace, vintage, sometimes simple, but the unusual as well.

  

 What would be your advice to young girls who would like to start modeling career?

BE SAFE, learn to trust your feeling. If you don’t feel too good about something, something feels off - even if you don’t know why, trust that feeling and move on.

Don’t sell yourself short. Yes, of course, you’re a beginner at some point, but it’s hard work and time consuming.

Figure out what you like, where you feel most comfortable and stick to that - those pictures will always be the best.  If you’re comfortable with everything, you like every style - go for it.

 

 Can you give an advice, to people in general, how not to be ashamed of their body? We have published curvy and plus size bikini & nude models, they have had a big problem with their confidence before they started to do modeling. 

A hashtag I always use is #youdoyou. That’s what’s most important to me. There will always be haters, always be people that think their opinion is the only one that counts, but at the end of the day, if you are happy with who you are, what you do, your look, the way you feel, your health, those are the only things that are important. Because you have to be able to go through the day, fight your fights, deal with your struggles, nobody else can do that for you. So you have to know what helps you get up in the morning, what motivates you, what gives you confidence. Don’t let that be determined by other people.

But, that doesn’t mean you should get rid of all of your friends and people around you - stick with the people that support you, even if it’s “just” a person on Instagram that tells you she thinks you’re beautiful or a person from the media that is an idol to you. Read up on people that made it through hard times, the stories of people that made it to where they are, even though the odds were against them (be it because of what society says or whatever).

 

 

You are a musician, playing the cello. Can you tell us about that artsy part of your life?

 To learn an instrument, becoming a musician was kind of a given in our family. My dad was a musician, not professional, but it was a big part of his life, and he wanted that for us siblings as well. So I started playing the cello, getting lessons and because it was easy for me, I was talented, I stuck with it, not really questioning if this was what I wanted to do professionally. But when I got diagnosed with Epilepsy at age 19 I had to rethink my career choices, what I wanted to do professionally, because my ‘Plan A’ wasn’t going to work out.

Even though I’m obviously not happy about having epilepsy, I’m happy it got me to stop and think about what I really wanted.

I decided to keep that ‘artsy part’ alive, but not make it my main source of income. So I still play from time to time, but I have a lot of other ways of being artsy and creative as well.

 

What kind of art, in general, do you like?

 As said before, I love all kinds of art… But my favorite painting is ‘Wanderer above the Sea of Fog’ by Caspar David Friedrich.

I want art (no matter what kind) to tell a story or capture a moment. And even if it just says ‘this person is confident and true to her-/himself and wants to show that’.

Any hobbies?

 On the one side, there’s the creative stuff, I like doing that. On the other side I love being outdoors, hiking, running or going out for a motorbike ride, it doesn’t really matter.

 

Social media:

Instagram:  mrs_calypso