Bijou

I'm a petite model. At 5'4" without the greatest complexion and inverted hips as well as little titties, these curvy models would be surprised at how girls like us yearn to be girls like them.

I've seen models who carry their scars into the modeling world with pride to show the world that perfection is a myth and we need to embrace all of our flaws.

Turn them into art.

It's what I do, and even though I'll probably never see a runway in my entire life, it seems to be working out just fine for me.

You're beautiful!

Don't forget it.

Tell us where are you from, how old are you, something about growing up.

I was born in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada and spent my first 10 years of life in a small town just north of "The Sault" called Goulais River, Ontario. My father worked as an angler, hunter, butcher and floater/bush plane mechanic, so I did spend a few of my earliest years in a fly-in fishing camp close to Hornepayne, Ontario, Canada on Obukimigaw Lake. I am 35 years old and of French-Canadian/Oji-Cree Native Indian descent.

What were your childhood dreams - like, what did you want to become when you grow up?

I was quite a whimsical and free-spirit child and always dreamed of being a ballerina but also a nurse. After dabbling in several fields over the years career-wise, I didn't quite reach those initial dreams, but rather things much bigger, much more risk and also urban in the area of dance. I am a skilled pole dancer, electronic music raver/enthusiast and still carry on a caring and empathetic heart, quite similar to someone in the field of nursing in everything I do. I find this sometimes, if not always lands me in a bit of trouble!

Tell us about your regular day - how does it look like.

As an entrepreneur, Toronto vegan foodie, and a recovered addict, my day-to-day is a carefully mixed bag of therapy tactics, lunch meetings, self-pampering, health and fitness, online marketing/networking and computer work as well as event coverage...and shoots, of course, lots of shoots.

Model life. How and when did you start with modeling?

As a sudden single Father, my Dad didn't know the first thing about raising two young daughters. At the age of 13, he enrolled me in an agency called L'image models in Sault Ste. Marie and his goal were to obtain some help in teaching me the ways of being "girly" or a "lady." Bless his heart because, without my role models at L'image, I wouldn't know the first thing about aesthetics, makeup, and other fun things the other girls in my class got to absorb from their Mothers. Over the course of the years through Highschool and College, I did get a lot of attention from my odd sense of fashion, don't-give-a-fuck attitude and oddball sense of style, combined with the petiteness, I often found myself hobby modelling for hair salons, hobby photographers and later, party and event photography in the Toronto rave scene. Over the past year, I found my husband continually urging me to start a portfolio and try some shoots, so this past January, I started networking with some Toronto photographers and tried a few photo shoots. My ways about this caused some friction in my personal life, but looking back on it now, my creative start was the best "mistake" I ever made. Modeling has been bringing me joy and satisfaction that most of my endeavors weren't able to give me before, and my friends, family and especially my husband have never felt so proud.

First experience in front of the camera? How did you feel?

My first formal shoot was intensely nerve-wracking. I didn't know the photographer from a hole-in-the-ground and to be bluntly honest here, I'm not sure if we had the right energy exchange. That aside, the shots turned out pretty impressive. A lot of what I do work-wise, especially this past couple of years has been a strategic mission to conquer and overcome personal anxiety issues I'm left to deal with from my past. This includes toxic relationships, abuse, addiction and other terrors I've endured and I feel the best way to overcome fear is to face your fears. Plain and simple. I was proud of my first experience, even though I didn't feel as glamorous or comfortable as I'm sure many other models would have.

What kind of photos do you prefer? Also, do you like to take instructions from the photographer or to be a part of the shooting ideas?

I consider myself an alternative model, and during my research on this term, I understand is a branch of the modeling industry that doesn't conform to the mainstream ideals of beauty. I like to take a creative spin on any shoot I do, and since I haven't been doing formal shoots for very long, I've found myself recently really taking over in the way of posing, styling, editing and other details of a shoot...I love the idea of a "collaboration" meaning taking the ideas of both the model and the photographer and creating a mutually triumphant piece of artwork that will help lift each other up in some way. I also love the challenge of making an idea "happen" for a photographer. I feel like I need to get my hand dirty in any shoot I do to be a part of the art instead of just the subject.

Lingerie photos - your favorite lingerie that you like to wear during the photo session?

If I had it my way I would just be naked all of the time haha! When lingerie is in question though, I prefer a combination of french lace and interestingly patterned fishnet. Stockings are life. I could literally hang out all day in just stockings.

Nude photos - when have you done your first nude photo session ? How was the feeling ? Reactions from people close to you and people in general ?

Interestingly enough, during my first formal photoshoot it was pointed out to me that during the course of our shoot, I seemed much more comfortable in front of the camera unclothed. I feel like I have a very good relationship with my own body, and love/adore every inch of myself to know what to do naked vs. how to pose with clothes on. I did my first nude shoot four months ago and now I feel naturally comfortable carrying out implied work. I often find myself holding my boobs of covering myself with my hair, naked-fairy style to create a bit of mystery. I don't think this is a "show-off" type of comfort rather than an artsy, free-spirit one.

What would be your advice to young girls who would like to start modeling career?

Check the blacklist and always have at least one trustworthy photographer to refer to before booking shoots. This field of work can be dangerous. I have accidentally worked with artists with bad reputations but my experiences actually turned out rather comfortable and pristine. I did just did lunch with a pretty renowned artist who told me that multiple models have found out that their worst jealous enemies turned out to be their best friends! There will always be someone out there trying to flatline your work, take it as a compliment, you're a threat and doing something right. Just keep your wits about you, do your research, especially with agencies.

Can you give an advice, to people in general, how not to be ashamed of their body? We have published curvy and plus size bikini & nude models, they have had big problems with their confidence before they started to do modeling.

I'm a petite model. At 5'4" without the greatest complexion and inverted hips as well as little titties, these curvy models would be surprised at how girls like us yearn to be girls like them. I've seen models who carry their scars into the modeling world with pride to show the world that perfection is a myth and we need to embrace all of our flaws. Turn them into art. It's what I do, and even though I'll probably never see a runway in my entire life, it seems to be working out just fine for me. You're beautiful! Don't forget it.

What kind of art, in general, do you like?

I feel like life is an art, and it should be treated as such. I feel like the word "art" is just an umbrella term for many things; music, fashion, food, sex, dance, writing. You name it, I've dabbled it.

Tattoos. You have several beautiful tattoos. What do they mean to you?

My largest tattoo is my sakura tree. It represents strength and beauty. My paws were my first design, they are a combination of feline and wolf tracks, symbolizing my overall love for animals. I have a piece of my own art, a flower tattoo in the "tramp stamp" area of my body. This was a flower I used to draw on my hand with colored pens. Girls in high school saw the art on my hands and had me draw them on them too. It symbolizes inspiration. I hold a Viking compass between my shoulders. This is a design my favorite artist Bjork has on her arm. This symbolizes guidance. I have a unicorn tattoo on my neck to symbolize my late Mother. She is and always will be my unicorn, RIP. I have roman numerals to match my husband's design to commemorate our wedding date March 31st, 2018. My latest ink is on my sternum, my Bijou tattoo. Bijou is French for "jewel" or "gem" and I'll carry that for the remainder of life on my chest as a reminder of my own bravery.

Plans for the rest of this year?

I want to travel as much as possible, and pick up work in different countries or even across Canada. I really want to tip my toes into every style of modeling and create a portfolio to show my open-mindedness and diversity and branch off into super artistic, extreme and more wild areas of work.